Neglect
Right, so it’s been quiet around here the past few weeks, chiefly due to not having had much time to myself lately: A weekend with family, a weekend and a week of overtime, whatever. My time’s been full of distractions and stressors and I haven’t been eating well.
My scale’s been telling me I’ve fallen below two hundred, which is distressing.
And this weekend, I finally do get to relax, and it still doesn’t work out well—it never does on weekends—and apparently it’s incomprehensible to people why:
[me] Hungry but don’t feel like eating. Frustrating :|
Eat, so that ya don’t feel like hunger.
[me] Yeh, but I’m no good at eating without appetite…
Then you’re not hungry~
[me] Hungry = body says empty. Appetite = brain says eat. Way different things, like being tired vs being sleepy.
lol So what were you griping about, originally?
[me] About being hungry but not having appetite to eat. Kind of like insomnia where you’re tired but not able to fall asleep.
I never have been very good at taking care of myself. I need to, of course—I don’t want to lose any more—but it’s not as easy as putting one foot in front of the other. It’s a more complicated sort of problem and one which I don’t have a manual for.
I’ve asked for help a lot on this blog, and I still need it. I’m not fond of being as weak as I am… I won’t let it get to me, but I know that the way things are now, I won’t be able to do this alone.