207.0
So I think some of you wonder why I keep going on here. If the gaining of weight keeps failing to happen as it does, what am I trying to achieve here? I mean, I’ve already gone into why I wanted to gain, but why do I still want to gain?
After all, I’ve already put on a decent amount of weight, travelling from emaciation to obesity.
After all, trying as hard as I can—which is tiring in itself—only seems to be enough to maintain my weight, not help it along.
After all, I haven’t made any progress in ages. And I keep saying that, but let’s quantify that: I started posting my progress here in 2007, about three years ago. Pete’s blog is about the same age; he started about the same weight as me — and he’s at least forty pounds heavier now. I’m still the same weight.
So why do I still try to gain, and why do I still post here? After all, I only seem to be able to post depressing topics here—which is odd, because I’m not, in general, depressive about this; it only seems to turn that way when I start writing.
I don’t want to give up.
I don’t want to stop here.
I’m just weak… in everything but my stubbornness.
…ah well. Here’s some blurry phone cam pics from this weekend, after going out to the Mongolian grill with my roommate Steph:
