Muke's growing journey

No stats for last week. Went through a few days of ugh-don’t-care and didn’t get much of anything done, gaining or otherwise.

A man’s got to wonder how gaining weight manages to be so hard. It’s weird to look back on myself and see I’ve been trying to put on weight for nearly a decade at least now and, even though I have managed to make a decent amount of progress, it’s in fits and starts between long, long periods of not much change at all.

Sure, it’s a positive experience to look back on old pictures of myself in the scrawniest of days to see how far I’ve come—

Muke in August 2002, about 120 lbs

—but while it’s encouraging in one way, it doesn’t seem to help much as far as incentive goes.

Been thinking about branching out the scope of this blog, beyond just progress reports and lack of same… though at the moment I don’t think I do much else that applies. What else would you all like to see from me here?

Managed to hold up the 209-211 range all week. Still haven’t managed to hit 212, though, and I doubt I’ll be hitting it this week… I don’t think I have near enough calories in my menu (of tasty Chinese food) this week to gain off of, and I really haven’t been feeling the drive like I was then. That, and I’ve been sort of on the bottom end of my spare cash cycle, so going out for food isn’t too much of an option till payday at least.

The calorie budget’s as high as it is chiefly because of those short-term goals I mentioned working on… They might be just a bit~ too intense for me to keep up with.

Anyway, see you guys next week, possibly a bit lighter, but nonetheless still determined.

Averaging the numbers out for the week may not give the best picture: I’ll also say I was over budget five days out of seven—and while I started the week at 205 lbs on the Sunday weigh-in, I was up to 211 by Saturday’s. Now, the trouble’s in pushing past that; so far this week, I haven’t, but hopefully I will—I’d love to see 212 for the first time.

Some pictures… I’m afraid a few of them came out pretty blurry.

All right, I’m going to be working hard to turn things around. I’ve been in a slump since the breakup in March—as I think I’ve mentioned before, it generally seems easier to gain when I’m with someone. Thing is, if I was able to gain steadily when he lived an hour’s drive away and I only saw him every other weekend or so, it’s clearly not anything about a partner’s presence—shared meals or whatever—that helped; it was something about my mindset. And there shouldn’t be any reason I can’t regain that mindset.

So, plan is I start recording calories again and start setting firmer, short-term goals again. Especially for the next month or so, because my roommates are planning on moving out sometime this month and without them helping on the rent, my food budget plunges to about fifteen dollars a week…. So you might see a donation button or similar shameless begging up soon.

(Or not—I got word, just as I was about to post this, that one of the roommates lost his job and now they can’t afford to move. So, we’ll see.)